'I accept as truth that everything has its own time. This is the right moment for me to make this decision (...) This is a moment to make a pure choice and reject conformity. It’s a moment to fight against the anaesthetizing of the soul and to let myself be passionate about life.'
When I wrote this personal letter I was so hopeful, expectant about the future and aware of the hardships a new life brings on. I was not without fear and yet, I didn't allow the menace of my misgiving stop me from trying. I did try. However, what I had planned didn't turn out the way I expected... That fact devastated me and made me second guess myself because I used to think that if I didn't do it at that moment (when I had the will, the courage) I would probably miss my chance.
We have to realize that when we take the plunge, we always endanger something. I understand that by raising my expectations I took the risk of being dashed... Despite all the frustration and disappointment my decision brought on, I still believe it couldn't have been in any other way.
I believe we have to innovate ourselves and rediscover passion towards life, even if it means not to play safe.
"When a dream takes hold of you, what can you do? You can run with it, let it run your life, or let it go and think for the rest of your life about what might have been." - Patch Adams, M.D.
About that dream I fought for in the letter... maybe it just wasn't the right moment. Nevertheless, it will come.
