I'm beginning to know myself. I don't exist.
I'm the gap between what I'd like to be and what others have made me,
Or half of this gap, since there's also life...
That's me. Period.
Turn off the light, shut the door, and quit that slipper noise in the hallway.
Leave me alone in my room with the vast peace of myself.
It's a shoddy universe.

Álvaro de Campos

Dreams - what men are made of.

'I accept as truth that everything has its own time. This is the right moment for me to make this decision (...) This is a moment to make a pure choice and reject conformity. It’s a moment to fight against the anaesthetizing of the soul and to let myself be passionate about life.'

When I wrote this personal letter I was so hopeful, expectant about the future and aware of the hardships a new life brings on. I was not without fear and yet, I didn't allow the menace of my misgiving stop me from trying. I did try. However, what I had planned didn't turn out the way I expected... That fact devastated me and made me second guess myself because I used to think that if I didn't do it at that moment (when I had the will, the courage) I would probably miss my chance.

We have to realize that when we take the plunge, we always endanger something. I understand that by raising my expectations I took the risk of being dashed... Despite all the frustration and disappointment my decision brought on, I still believe it couldn't have been in any other way.

I believe we have to innovate ourselves and rediscover passion towards life, even if it means not to play safe.

"When a dream takes hold of you, what can you do? You can run with it, let it run your life, or let it go and think for the rest of your life about what might have been." - Patch Adams, M.D.

About that dream I fought for in the letter... maybe it just wasn't the right moment. Nevertheless, it will come.

'for even a heretic must believe in something, if nothing more than the truth of his own doubt'

Quoted from Barack Obama's biography - DREAMS FROM MY FATHER

Heterónimo

Caminha comigo - sob a promessa mútua de nunca sermos estranhas.




'What we had in common - our restlessness, our impassioned spirits, and a love for the open road.' Ernesto Guevara de la Serna

So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one piece of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

Que mal há em ser-se louco?

"(...) o que acham, meus senhores, e se déssemos um valente pontapé em todo este bom senso de uma vez por todas, unicamente para que todos estes logaritmos fossem para o raio que os parta e para voltarmos a viver segundo a nossa estúpida vontade?"

f. dostoiévski